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Sexual Assault

Sexual assaults

01 Definition

Sexual assault (SA) is first and foremost a criminal act. It is an act of domination, humiliation, abuse of power and violence. Thus, a sexual assault consists of any act of a sexual nature, with or without physical contact, committed without the consent of the person concerned, using intimidation, manipulation, threats, blackmail or any form of violence: verbal, physical, psychological. Sexual assaults are mostly committed by men and are mainly aimed at women and children.

Sexual violence is a societal problem whose victims can unfortunately come from any socio-economic class and belong to any age, gender, culture, religion or sexual orientation. Sexual assault is not limited in space, it can occur in private in public or even through technological means, for example via social networks.

02 Forms

Sexual assaults can take different forms such as:

Incest

Includes any act of a sexual nature with or without physical contact involving a minor (0 to 17 years) and a parental figure and/or authority, responsibility for the minor.

Sexual Harassment

“All forms of unwanted attention or advances with sexual connotations [and done repeatedly] that cause discomfort, fear, and threaten the well-being of a person.

This form of sexual assault may include unwanted looks, words, gestures, threats, propositions, jokes, and the display of pornographic material.” (Table de concertation sur les agressions à caractère sexuel de Montréal, 2008)

Voyeurism

Observing the intimacy or nudity of a person or group of people without their consent.” (Table de concertation sur les agressions à caractère sexuel de Montréal, 2008)

Exhibitionism

The act of voluntarily exposing one’s genitals without the consent of the person or persons concerned. The goal is to provoke a strong reaction or emotion: anger, fear, shock, etc.

Sexual exploitation

This is the use of a person for pornographic or prostitution purposes by coercing them through blackmail, intimidation or violence (psychological or physical)” (J’avise, 2002)

Child Pornography

The photographic or filmed depiction of a person under the age of eighteen engaging in explicit sexual activity.

Cyberstalking

Cyber sexual abuse is a form of sexual violence carried out through various communications technologies, such as the web, social media and texting. It can take the following form(s): cyberstalking, sextortion, child luring, and non-consensual posting of intimate images. (Marie-Vincent Foundation)

As well as a multitude of other forms: sexual touching, frotteurism, female genital mutilation, sex tourism, etc.

03 Consequences

There are a variety of consequences that can manifest themselves in different ways and at different times for the person who has experienced sexual assault. Each sexual assault is different, so the consequences that a person may experience as a result of the assault are unique to the person’s experience.

The consequences can also vary due to different elements such as: the frequency and duration of the assault, the relationship between the aggressor and the victim, the type of gestures, words and degree of violence during the assault, the reactions of the people around the victim to the disclosure, etc. (Trêve pour elle, website)

Moreover, the consequences of sexual assault can impact many areas of the victim’s life, whether it be psychological, professional, interpersonal, sexual, physical, etc. Here are some examples of consequences that a victim may experience as a result of a sexual assault: feelings of shame, guilt, anxiety, unwanted pregnancy, STIs, decreased or increased sexual activity, hypervigilance, isolation, anorexia, bulimia, nightmares, sleep disorders, flashbacks, depression, low self-esteem, isolation, negative self-image, etc.

It is important to understand and realize that the presence of these consequences is normal following a traumatic event such as a sexual assault.

Sexual Consent

Sexual consent is the agreement, the permission that a person gives to a sexual activity with his or her partner(s). Consent must be given in a free, voluntary, informed and enthusiastic manner for it to be considered valid. Consent given under constraint, violence, threat or manipulation is not valid. Also, consent can be expressed verbally, but also non-verbally and can be withdrawn at any time. It must be renewed with each sexual practice.

No one has the right to force sexual relations on another person against their will.

In Quebec, the legal age of consent to sexual relations is 16 years old. However, there are exceptions for young people aged 12 to 15. A 12 to 13 year old can only consent to sexual activity with a partner who is less than two years older. A 14 to 15 year old can only consent to a sexual relationship with a partner who is less than five years older.

However, it is important to understand that regardless of the age of the partners, sexual consent is not valid if there is voluntary or involuntary intoxication of drugs or alcohol, if there is the presence of threats or violence, or if there is a situation of authority, dependency, exploitation or abuse of trust.

Myths and prejudices

There are still many myths and prejudices surrounding sexual assault in our society. This can have a negative impact because these myths and prejudices influence our perception of sexual assault and determine how people react to it.

As a result, a victim may face hostile comments, attitudes and behaviours from those around her when she discloses. Or they may internalize their myths and prejudices, which may reinforce their feelings of guilt and hinder their recovery.

We would like to focus on some of the most popular myths and prejudices surrounding sexual assault in order to deconstruct them.

Most victims provoke the assault, whether it is the way they dress, behave or speak.

Myth: A victim is in no way responsible for her assault, no matter how she was dressed, where she was, how she spoke, her relationship with the perpetrator, etc. The only person responsible is the perpetrator. The only person responsible is the abuser who makes the decision to abuse.

Women often make false accusations of sexual assault for attention or revenge.

Myth: This myth is unfortunately still very present in our society. This argument, strongly conveyed by the aggressor, is very detrimental to the victims of sexual assault, insofar as it casts doubt on their word and/or disclosure.. Statistics, however, show how unfounded this myth is. In fact, the percentage of false accusations for all crimes, including sexual assault, is only 2%. Also, of the victims of sexual violence, only 5% of them report to the police.

Abusers have uncontrollable sexual urges.

Myth: Sexual urges are controllable. Asserting the contrary only harms the victim by making the aggressor less responsible for the sexual violence he commits. A sexual assault represents a power seizure, a domination over the other. By this fact, the aggressors premeditate their aggression. They take the time to think, plan and develop a strategy that will allow them to assault the victim. So, if abusers were truly driven by uncontrollable sexual urges, they would not take the time to think about when and where to abuse. Sexual assaults would simply take place in plain sight and everywhere. Which of course is not the case. As mentioned, the abuser seeks to dominate and establish control over his victim through sexual assault. Sexuality is therefore only a tool through which this domination and control is established. “It is not a loss of control, but rather a gain of control. (Trêve pour elles website)

If the victim does not clearly say "no," she is consenting to what is happening to her.

Myth: The absence of a “no” does not equal a “yes”. A person’s refusal can be expressed in many ways, not just verbally. Furthermore, “The absence of resistance does not equal consent”. Indeed, consent must be given in an enthusiastic, voluntary, free and informed manner. Therefore, if the person gives consent under threat, force or fear, the consent is not considered valid. Non-verbal behaviour is also indicative of the presence or absence of consent. For example, a person who freezes and appears to be undergoing the gestures while disconnected from their body is clearly not consenting, even if they do not verbalize their refusal their body reveals that they are not consenting. Finally, the context may not allow the victim to consent.

“A person cannot give consent if he or she is incapable of giving it (physical or intellectual incapacity, intoxication) or if one of the persons is in a position of authority, uses threats, force or fraud to obtain it. Consent is not valid if it is given by a person under the age of 16 or in a situation of dependency” (Institut national de santé publique du Québec, 2020).

If the victim has any physical or physiological reactions, sensations or feelings during the assault, it means that she enjoyed it.

Myth: Physical sensations and physiological reactions are normal, natural body responses to stimulation: erection, sexual tension, lubrication, orgasm, etc. This does not mean that the victim is consenting or enjoying the actions that are being forced upon her. It is an automatism over which the victim has no control. Once the body is stimulated, it is normal for there to be a reaction in response, whether it is desired or not. Thus, the victim may think she doesn’t want, hate or fear what is happening to her, sometimes even verbally signifying her refusal while having her body react physiologically to the stimulus. This can create a great deal of confusion for victims and lead to a great deal of guilt.

Helping Attitudes

The support of those around a victim, whether it be family, friends or workers, plays an extremely important role in the victim’s healing process. Indeed, a supportive attitude can encourage a victim to break the silence, regain confidence and thereby seek the help they need. Because of all this, it is important to adopt supportive attitudes when a victim of sexual assault shows courage in disclosing what she has been through.

Here are some helpful attitudes to adopt when someone discloses having been sexually assaulted.

Listen

Listen to the person with compassion, without judgment and without interrupting their story. Let the person express him/herself in his/her own words, in his/her own way and at his/her own pace

Believe

Believe what the person is telling you. One of the fears of victims is that they will not be believed if they talk about it. It is therefore important to believe what the person tells you and not to question their disclosure. Remember that it is their experience and their perception. The priority remains to focus on what the person is telling you and experiencing.

Receive

Receive what the person is telling you as he/she is telling you, without minimizing or amplifying the facts, emotions and consequences.

Relieve the guilt

Explain to the person that the aggression is in no way their fault. In fact, the aggressor is the only one responsible for the aggression, insofar as he or she is the only one responsible for his or her actions, gestures and the decision to have aggressed. The person’s responsibility is to take care of himself.

Empowerment

Reminding the person that they have control and power over their life while helping them regain that control. Providing the space they need to breathe, heal and take care of themselves.

Validating emotions

Remind the person that these emotions are important and valid by helping them to express and normalize them. Indeed, emotions such as anger, resentment, fear … are normal feelings.