Who can help me?

When we are sexually assaulted, we want to forget everything and simply move on. Unfortunately, silence is not always helpful in situations like these and the wounds won’t heal on their own. We can try to forget about it by burying all our memories. We can also try to calm the pain in different ways, for example by drinking excessively or taking drugs, by numbing ourselves by going out more, or trying to avoid the nightmares by sleeping as little as possible, etc. Despite our efforts, our memories can catch up and we are thrown back to step one even years later. By talking, you drop the weight you have been feeling, you get those emotions and memories out, get rid of the shame and the guilt, and of the fear that don’t belong in you.

If you have been sexually assaulted, don’t hesitate to talk about it. You have the right to decide when and to whom you want to confide in. There is no way of dealing with the emotions and no one person who is better to talk to. What matters most is that you talk to someone you can trust. The goal is not to make it publicly known if you don’t want to, but to rid yourself of the overflow of emotions and have someone to help and support you.

Your parents are probably the first people with whom you should talk. It might not be your case if the assailant is part of your family or if you don’t get along with your parents. If you think that your dad, your mom or both will believe what you tell them and are going to help you, then go ahead and let them know. Your parents will end up learning what happened to you, but it might sometimes be easier to talk to someone that isn’t part of your family first. It could be a neighbor, a teacher, your coach, a counselor or any other adult you trust. What’s important is that you get the help you are looking for. The West Island CALACS is also there to help you. We offer information and help to women over the age of 14. You can call us for more information or for the coordinates of resources that can help you. We can also meet with you at the center to listen to you and help you.

You might be afraid to talk, but remember that when you tell your secret to someone, you are no longer alone, you will feel safer and you will receive the help and support that you need. Once you have spoken to someone, you will no longer need to carry the burden of your secret.

From:
· Vancouver Incest and Sexual Abuse Center (VISAC) (1994). Les adolescents victims de violence sexuelle. Guide à l'intention des adolescents. Dépliant.
· Véronique Billette et Michèle Modin (2002). Prévenir les aggressions à caractère sexuel. Volet I – Guide d'animation. Montréal: Éditions Saint-Martin. 127pages.